Help is assistance received or given to make life easier.There are many forms of help. It could be your best friend offering to watch your kids,or government aid. It could be an organ donation,a kind gesture or going to see a marriage counselor. What ever form it comes in, its goal is to support and make life a little more bearable. That also is the truth about receiving help.That said…
WHY IS IT SOMETIMES HARD TO ACCEPT HELP?
“There is joy in giving than receiving”. Some of us have had that phrase drilled into our skulls right from childhood. We practiced it religiously and made it more important than receiving. Consequently our capacity to receive is completely obstructed. For instance, what do most of us do when some one offers us kind words or a gift? We either decline or immediately try to brush it aside or find a way to reciprocate the gesture.We feel indebted to that person until we,in turn, give them a gift.The question now is; why do we feel bad / negative about receiving? Do not get me wrong there is indeed joy in giving, but so is there in receiving mindfully.
We hold off from receiving and miss out on some really amazing connections.This is mostly because we’re stuck trying to figure out the reason for the gift,when the truth is:
1) IT IS NOT SELFISH TO RECEIVE
We have grown with the knowledge that giving is virtuous and so we have the notion that receiving is selfish. We don’t want attention on us and sometimes feel undeserving of the gift.But receiving a compliment, advice ,kind words or physical things adds to your cup. Kind words gives us hope. Compliments adds to our confidence while physical gifts goes a long way to make life easier. Receiving mindfully and gratefully, also permits the giver to experience joy and express kindness. What is selfish about that?
2) YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE MR/MRS INDEPENDENT
At times we go hard at life and forget to take care of ourselves. That drains and depletes us. Consequently, we cannot give because we do not have. In times like that, we sometimes feel like we have failed or fallen short. We push ourselves into overdrive just to maintain control and feel at war with the world when we fail. In other words we have the Mr/ Mrs independent syndrome. We’d rather deny help and look strong than accept it and look weak. But you see, it is okay not to be okay. No one is judging. Life gets tough sometimes and people understand. The truth about receiving help, is that you are not perceived differently. All we need to do is remember to open ourselves to the gifts of life. Be it unplugging with your bestie, or calling your friends to help you move into your new apartment. Whatever it is, receive it gratefully.
3) VULNERABILITY IS WONDERFUL
Another reason why we aren’t huge fans of receiving is because it puts us in our feelings.Why could a simple hug, or hearing someone say ”i love you” bring us to tears? It is simply because it tugs on our vulnerability. Our emotions stares us in the face,forces us to feel. However,we don’t want to put them out there for fear of rejection and or judgement. If we follow this fear, we would miss out on great bonds. Therefore, if we allow ourselves to receive and be vulnerable, we create an intimate connection with others. This is wonderful because we are able to embrace intimacy, reveal and express our most tender nature. The truth about receiving help is, it forges and strengthens beautiful connections.
4) NOT EVERYONE HAS AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE
Another reason why we are reluctant to receive is because we suspect people’s motives. We live in cynical times, so we tend to hold back and read meaning behind everything. ”Why did he/she offer me this?” or “What does he/she want from me?” are common questions we ask ourselves. We begin finding ways to reciprocate so we don’t feel bound or indebted. By so doing, we believe we are guarding ourselves from manipulation or exploitation. We end up receiving poorly and miss out on great connections because we are not open to the gift.
Being aware of all these, we should remember some people pour in nothing but love in their gifts. All they seek to do is help,support or simply connect with you
5) YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT
Some of us find it hard to receive because we are not used to it. Not every one of us was fortunate to be born into an easy life. And we have been dealt tough cards along our journey. This means that we have fought and are used to fighting for everything we have. We are accustomed to it and it is our way of life. Therefore it is not easy to receive because grinding for everything is all we know. We feel like we don’t deserve it, if we haven’t worked for it. However we have to learn that we are not islands and do not need to walk this life all alone. A little warmth, a little care, a little ray of sunshine goes a long way. The truth about receiving help,in this case,is that we truly deserve it. Such small gestures packed with kindness, travel all the way to deliver love in the soul. So we need to re-examine our mindsets, open our hearts to receiving because… we are worth it.
Receiving is a great means to experience life’s gifts. We can thug it out, grind and push all by our selves, but it is so much better with company. Who gets to receive, if all we want to do is give? Relationships thrive on giving and receiving. So we should revisit our mindsets on receiving and be more open to it.
Take from this, only what resonates with your soul. May you receive joyfully and gratefully along your journey. And may the gifts you receive add more color and ease to your life .