We’ve come to the end of 2019 and the beginning of a new year! For some last year was good, while for others it might have been the most challenging. And yet for some, it was both. All i can say is 2019 tried me honey (lol ) ! However, at the end of the year, which is also like the end of a chapter, we tend to reflect. We ponder our lived experiences and their outcomes, our actions and reactions. How were our interactions? Did we approach life from a place of abundance or scarcity? Were we morally upright? Or were we trash and did it with our chests?
2019 taught me many new lessons and reminded me of some old ones. As i reflect and go down memory lane, i realize life happened for and not to me. So the lessons i learned in 2019 were:
1) It’s All Temporary
I learned that no situation is permanent. Everything is temporary beautiful people. The highest highs, the lowest lows and the inbetweens will all come to pass. Therefore it’s important to remember that every block we hit is there to teach us something. Maybe it’s there to remind us to slow down, to take it easy and simply take stock of our lives. So try to always open yourself up to learn the lessons the low times teach you and enjoy the good times thoroughly and gratefully.
2) Detaching from Specific Outcomes
Another lesson 2019 taught me, was the limiting aspect of attaching to specific outcomes. When i had projects in mind, i thought they’d pan out in a specific way. I’d repeatedly seek out, only that one specific outcome i’d envisioned from the beginning. I inevitably ended up frustrated, because i’d limited myself to the confines of one outcome. So, all this is to say that, numerous paths lead to success.
Therefore, unsubscribe and detach from fixed outcomes. Do your best, set your intention in whatever you undertake and open yourself to whatever may come. Flow with the vast potential of being limitless.
3) Lowering Expectations
Lowering my expectations in relation to people was a lessons i was reminded of. I had found myself giving a lot of my time, care and second chances to people who didn’t deserve it. Hell i was out here taking on loads of emotional labor and helping people unpack their ish for free! I, of course, was unequivocally disappointed, because i’d expected my dedication to be reciprocated. So i had to check myself and assess if all my interactions were reward based. Thus, i lowered my expectations and took everyone for who they were and everything for what it was.
So if you’re like me, i’d say that you should learn to lower your expectations. Do good from your heart, with no expectations of reciprocity. Take people as they are and everything else becomes a bonus
4) Taking Life As It Comes
In light with the previous lesson, i was reminded in 2019 to take life as it comes. ”Take life as it comes my darling” mom would often say . I have always navigated life with those words in mind and even it’s meaning has evolved along my journey. We have to remember that change is the only constant. Accept that there will be challenges, that not everyone will like us and that life is not fair. C’est la vie tout simplement. Therefore we have to go with the flow to whatever direction life propels us, while making the best of every situation. Like the famous saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
5) The Truth About Balance
Another lesson i learned in 2019, was the truth about balance. I had hoped to navigate life with some element of balance. I regarded it as incorporating a little bit of everything to level the scale, for an optimal state of being. For example one has to balance work, a social life, exercising , sleep, while maintaining self happiness and a skin care routine. Granted, some people can pull this off, but for most of us, this is simply unrealistic.
I learned this year that balance is knowing that there’s no such thing as balance. I realized that balance is in the nuance and that grey area is real. What that looked and meant to me, was to know that it was okay if i didn’t want to go out. It was to know that it is okay to take time off, to eat that cake, to cry and feel sad. So keep in mind that real balance is the nuance and the real deal is in navigating the grey area.
6) You Are Enough
Another wonderful lesson i learned in 2019, was recognizing that i was enough. It doesn’t matter what life has dealt you in the past. What your current physical, emotional ,social and financial standings are. It certainly doesn’t matter if you haven’t accomplished any of your goals. Remember that you are enough and cherish where you currently are. Do not go comparing your personal lived experiences to others. Your path and pace are yours alone and shouldn’t be validated by anyone but you. It is okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to not know all the answers and ask for help. It is okay to go through the emotions and rest when your’e tired. You are not taking up too much space nor are you asking for too much. You are valued, worth it and enough, in your beautiful, flawed complexity.
7) Self Love Is Everything
My journey in 2019 was a deep dive into loving myself more and self care. I had been neglecting myself, over dispensed my energy and stretched myself thin in all directions. That propelled me into negative spaces. Therefore i started practicing mindful self care as a way of loving myself. What that looked like for me, was taking time to do what made me happy. However small or big. It ranged from taking walks, meditating, sketching or ditching my phone to read more books.
So make conscious decisions that prioritize your happiness. It could be by listening to your heart, protecting your space, adjusting your schedule or taking time off. It could be by going on a social media cleanse, severing toxic bonds or working on yourself. Making time for what is important, discovering more about yourself and living your truth. Letting go of ideologies and energies that no longer serve you. Allowing yourself to do literally anything that leaves you content and peaceful. That self care in whatever form, is a beautiful declaration of love to yourself.
7) Giving Back
Another beautiful reminder from 2019, was giving back. It struck me how impactful little kind deeds went a long way. Kind encouragement, support, time , a helping hand, gentle or tough love. There are so many ways you can give back to others. So always try to give back beautiful people, no matter how small you may think it is. I remember the look on my colleague and good friend’s face whenever i got her a star bucks coffee. Nothing more but coffee and she would do this cute little happy dance. Her reaction was always everything.
So do whatever you can, as long as your’e doing it with your heart. It mustn’t be money , it could be helping out that friend who is a new mom. Giving up your seat for an elderly person or pregnant woman on the bus, or donating clothes you don’t wear. Lift others and remember that giving back is a beautiful practice that portrays our oneness.
Gratitude!!!! I mean if you’ve read any of my blog posts then you must’ve come across the almighty gratitude. Wheew, gratitude is my church! I always, always try to remain grateful , no matter the circumstance. Like i am grateful for everything to a point where i am grateful for being grateful. It just humbles me and makes me appreciate life much more. So remember and continue to be thankful beautiful people. Be thankful for life, for love, for family, your pet, for food and drink. Be grateful for your lived experiences, or that you lived to see the start of a new decade. There’s always something to be thankful for.
These were the major lessons i learned or was reminded of in 2019. I learned to always do my best in whatever stage i am in life. I learned that time spent on myself was never wasted and to always make time for the important stuff.
Happy New Year 2020 !!!!! I am immensely grateful for how 2019 shaped me, the gifts it bore and the lessons it taught me. May this new year bring forth more growth along your journey, may you thrive, prosper and live your best life.
So what lessons did you learn and are taking into 2020? Let us know below.